[This is not my response to We Have Brains]
I have no class. No sophistication. No elegance. Appropriate words do not roll off my tongue. I don't knpw which fork is for salad, and don't care because I have pie first. I have no sense of grace. When I sit, I don't cross my legs.
Instead, I stutter getting the words out. My thoughts are apparent in my facial expressions. I laugh too loud. Talk too fast and loud. I plunk myself down. When the waiter comes over I alway order first. I am perpetually dishevelled. My underwear or a bra strap always seems to be hanging out. I stomp my feet when I walk. In class, I call out.
I ain't got no class. And that's alright by me.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Noam Chomsky is the Source of All Things Cool
[i snatched this from Jasmine}
"The point of public relations slogans like "Support our troops" is that they don't mean anything... That's the whole point of good propaganda. You want to create a slogan that nobody's going to be against, and everybody's going to be for. Nobody knows what it means, because it doesn't mean anything. Its crucial value is that it diverts your attention from a question that does mean something: Do you support our policy? That's the one you're not allowed to talk about."
Noam Chomsky
"The point of public relations slogans like "Support our troops" is that they don't mean anything... That's the whole point of good propaganda. You want to create a slogan that nobody's going to be against, and everybody's going to be for. Nobody knows what it means, because it doesn't mean anything. Its crucial value is that it diverts your attention from a question that does mean something: Do you support our policy? That's the one you're not allowed to talk about."
Noam Chomsky
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It's Not About Converting Those Heathens Either
"Our understanding of relief ministries is that anytime you give a cup of cold water in the name of Jesus you've shared God's love in a real physical way. That also raises the question as to why you did that. When people ask you, you explain that it's because of the love of God that has been poured out into my life and I have a deep desire that you know that same love as well."
This reminds me of the hidden track on Living In Clip (ani difranco), in which they are talking about being mortified by these born-again Christians at an open mike who sang a song about "Did Anne Frank find Jesus?"
It's people like this who give Christianity a bad name.
This reminds me of the hidden track on Living In Clip (ani difranco), in which they are talking about being mortified by these born-again Christians at an open mike who sang a song about "Did Anne Frank find Jesus?"
It's people like this who give Christianity a bad name.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, gotta kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitute.
I like watching very violent movies because movies are make believe.
I do not like violence in my reality.
Let's make the distinction between these two.
I like shooting guns, but not at people. This is interesting to me because I do not like fireworks at all. Fireworks make me nervous. I used to go out in fields shooting at pumpkins and coffee cans. If I had to defend myself, then I would. I don't think traveling half-way around the world is defense. I think that is an act of aggression.
If you turn around and stop taunting him, then you won't aggravate him. If you don't aggravate him, then he is not going to punch you.
I like watching very violent movies because movies are make believe.
I do not like violence in my reality.
Let's make the distinction between these two.
I like shooting guns, but not at people. This is interesting to me because I do not like fireworks at all. Fireworks make me nervous. I used to go out in fields shooting at pumpkins and coffee cans. If I had to defend myself, then I would. I don't think traveling half-way around the world is defense. I think that is an act of aggression.
If you turn around and stop taunting him, then you won't aggravate him. If you don't aggravate him, then he is not going to punch you.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Sneezing
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can't believe that he's seeing what he's seeing.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says,
Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped it
between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?
The woman replies, I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.
The man, now feeling badly, says, Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?
The woman looks at him and says, Pepper.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can't believe that he's seeing what he's seeing.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says,
Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped it
between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?
The woman replies, I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.
The man, now feeling badly, says, Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?
The woman looks at him and says, Pepper.
The Good Trade...
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
"Good trade....."
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
"Good trade....."
Sunday, April 30, 2006
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